A woman has written into parenting forum Mumsnet to say she’s fed up with her husband’s constant ‘groping her and nagging her for sex’ describing him as a ‘horny teenager’ and says she ‘forces herself’ to have sex with him once a week.
In fact the more he asks for it the more she doesn’t want to. Besides that he’s always mouthing dirty comments, slapping her bottom and trying to feel her up every chance he gets.
Holding The Bride
An newly-wed African-American couple holding each other
The fed up wife writes:
‘I’m basically sick of my husband groping me and nagging me for sex. We have sex maybe once a week and even then I have to force myself. He says twice a week is the norm for most married couples. I disagree.”
Opinions were divided on the matter. Some described the husband’s actions as sexual abuse while others said they just have mismatched sex drives and perhaps they should separate.
‘If I bend over, he has to slap my a***. It wasn’t an issue at the start of our relationship but now it just irritates me. Especially when he does it around our son (which he knows I don’t like!). If I go into the kitchen to do dishes, he’ll follow me and want a full on snog fest. If I say I’m going for a shower, he’ll make a crude comment.”
Many were disgusted by the wife’s revelations and firmly told her she should leave her ‘gross’ husband:
“Every time he touches you sexually when you don’t want him to, it’s sexual assault,’ one said. ‘Rapey b*****d. All this coercion and stropping when he doesn’t get to touch you is sexual abuse.”
Another said the wife should use words like ‘sexual abuse’: “He needs to know what a pervert he is to you.”
“That’s sexual coercion and assault. Is he abusive in other ways too OP? Maybe have a look at the Women’s Aid website,” asked another concerned commenter.
While others said asking for sex twice a week wasn’t anything unusual and perhaps their sex drives were just mismatched.
‘There’s a lot of women who do like being very gropey and do dirty talking with their partners,’ one wrote.
‘It’s nothing to do with property or being pervy. It’s just how some people show their affection. Your normal is not necessarily someone else’s normal.’
‘If you still find him attractive and want to have sex with him, you need a serious proper chat and make it clear what you do find a turn on,’ offered another.
A commenter in her 60s said: ‘Twice a week isn’t much. I’d be really upset if that’s all I got. If you don’t want sex with your husband at all then he would be forgiven for looking elsewhere.’
‘Me and my husband are very gropey and touchy feely,’ another added. ‘He clearly still finds you attractive. I feel sorry for the poor sod. You’d be better off leaving and letting him find someone more on his level.’
What do you think?
‘If we’re sat as family in the living room watching kids shows, he’ll mouth a dirty comment to me. It doesn’t turn me on. It annoys me. I can’t put my feet up on him on the sofa without him thinking I’m initiating sex and trying to put his hands between my legs! When I turn him down, he acts like a wounded puppy! I was really honest with him last night and told him that the more full on he is, the less I want it. He said that if he didn’t ask, he’d never get it as I’ve only initiated sex twice in the last two/three months (true!). I just told him to be less full on. This morning, it was like the conversation never happened. Him acting like a horny teenager all the time is actually giving me the sick.’